You don't need to see his identification...

Truth.

Evil eye

I remember tuning up a monster doofkin and walking into a Jack Daniels event in Boston. While I was blizzed, I couldn't help but notice the Yuppie costumes everyone was wearing. Fu Manchu was ripping through their sonic ear buster, "Evil Eye."

There was a stack of free Domino's pizza boxes in the corner. I lifted the lit and waved to Mike Brown. We each grabbed a fist full of slices and headed to the bar. The bar was lined with these weird wine cooler looking Jack and Coke foo foo drinks. When I order a Jack and Coke, I prefer a 1 to 3 ratio of Jack to Coke. I tried one of the free wine coolers, and realized it was a -3 to 1 ratio of Jack to Coke. WTF?

I asked the bar tender for a jack and coke. He looked at me like I had two heads and pointed at the bar. I handed him a twenty dollar bill and asked him for two doubles. He scanned left, then right, and then took the loot.

Two minutes later he handed me two Jack and Cokes, proper. Mike grabbed one and we walked to the front of the show. There was nobody within twenty feet of the stage, and Fu Manchu had their shit dialed up LOUD. I was pumped when they played Boogie Van. Jack Daniels might have blew it on the sauce, but they threw a bullseye on the band. Certainly did.

Really? Are you fucking kidding me?

So the job search continues... I suit up and head to Westlake for an interview at a brand marketing firm. For whatever reason this little voice in the back of my head started in on the "Um..." apprehension weirdness.

I park the car, check my tie and wander into a Zen garden that is the complete opposite of what I was expecting. A fountain sits dead center in the open office. Very mellow. I can already tell this isn't going well.

I meet the Account Director and Principal. It turns out they are currently putting together a rebranding package for my old employer.

"So do you know Bonnie?" I'm asked.

Fuck! I go from candidate to cadidon't in a nano second. Once I had to reveal my axed status at said previous employer, there was just a slight change in the temperature of the room. From 62 degrees, to now 61.5. It was barely perceptible, but I'm a perceptive dude. It got colder. For sure.

Long story cut short, much like the remains of the interview, I don't think I'm getting that gig. Who would have known that Community Transit went ahead with that rebrand project? Not me. Who would have know Parker LePla would be working with them? Not me.

I walked outside into a sunny monsoon. My suit got wet while my spirits were already significantly dampened. It is only the absolute irony that permeates this situation that keeps me from doubling over with frustrated angst. All in all, if it happened to somebody else, I would think it hilarious. C'la vie.